I wish I had more words for you. But all I can say is I love you, and no- it was not because of you. It was because of him. And his need to run away from himself
"...my internal monologue is well versed in monitoring and judging the many ways in which I don’t measure up so I understand this new discovery is another disappointment."
This is familiar territory. Monitor, judge, compare, "measure up". Against what? Whom? I know objectively that "comparison is the theif of joy..." but...
My inner critic is me right? Runs on the same base operating system as all other versions of me.
It's an illogical habit. I'm an emotional person. I can also be rational, value logical thoughts. So I'm working on applying rationality to my negative habits. Slowly chipping away at the evidence my inner critic holds over me and building a new body of evidence to make it harder to ignore that I can be, I am, a good person.
The good in you is ubandantly clear from the outside.
Honestly I think I was taught to think that way. Or perhaps because I am also logical the only available rational explanation to a lack of support was to somehow try and take responsibility for it. On reflection that’s probably not rational at all. I struggle a lot with the fact that for me I know what I mean and that I think I can explain it to others. But experience has taught me others don’t hear me in the way I intend. I’m glad you’re finding ways to make it make sense for you. When you’ve figured it out let me know ok?
You're an artist Katy and that means you'll have thoughts and ideas and express those in new ways. That makes it difficult for people unreceptive to the unusual to understand. The way you articulate is probably accurate. The audience is misaligned.
When you share your art the right minds will eventually find you.
I wish I had more words for you. But all I can say is I love you, and no- it was not because of you. It was because of him. And his need to run away from himself
"...my internal monologue is well versed in monitoring and judging the many ways in which I don’t measure up so I understand this new discovery is another disappointment."
This is familiar territory. Monitor, judge, compare, "measure up". Against what? Whom? I know objectively that "comparison is the theif of joy..." but...
My inner critic is me right? Runs on the same base operating system as all other versions of me.
It's an illogical habit. I'm an emotional person. I can also be rational, value logical thoughts. So I'm working on applying rationality to my negative habits. Slowly chipping away at the evidence my inner critic holds over me and building a new body of evidence to make it harder to ignore that I can be, I am, a good person.
The good in you is ubandantly clear from the outside.
Honestly I think I was taught to think that way. Or perhaps because I am also logical the only available rational explanation to a lack of support was to somehow try and take responsibility for it. On reflection that’s probably not rational at all. I struggle a lot with the fact that for me I know what I mean and that I think I can explain it to others. But experience has taught me others don’t hear me in the way I intend. I’m glad you’re finding ways to make it make sense for you. When you’ve figured it out let me know ok?
You're an artist Katy and that means you'll have thoughts and ideas and express those in new ways. That makes it difficult for people unreceptive to the unusual to understand. The way you articulate is probably accurate. The audience is misaligned.
When you share your art the right minds will eventually find you.